the drama in your mind

There is always ups and downs in our lives and relationships. People closest to you are usually the ones who hurt you the most. Why? Because you care. If someone waiting at the bus stop calls you stupid, you might just look at him weird and leave. Feeling: “Whatever“. He is just some random homo sapien who you don’t care about. If your family member, say your father, calls you stupid it hurts more. Because you start thinking about it and feeling them deep in your heart.

Sometimes, when what is said is “Stupid“, our mind may hear “Stupid, good for nothing cow.“. Our minds ‘ear’ is embellishing more than what is said. Then our hearts get more crushed and hurt.

This is especially true and more hurtful if we start out with a negative. Take this little story as an analogy.

Sadie and Farah live with their aging mother. Sadie, the elder, is a teacher and Farah is a store clerk. Farah is always slightly sensitive, and she does not like it at all that she is compared to Sadie all her life. When one day Sadie suggested that they all manage their electric usage better and more conservatively due the huge electric bill, Farah heard a different line in her mind. Rather than a discussion, she basically have a telenovela running in her mind. What she heard with her mind’s ‘ear’ is Sadie saying, ” I am tired of always having to pay the bill while you mooch off the family with your low salary. You are useless and a spendthrift“. And so ensued a silent war between the sisters. Farah, due to her in-mind drama and Sadie to how Farah treated her (as a result from he in-mind drama). We all have this director in our minds. We do however have the executive decision to either make that director direct dramas or family sitcom.

Though we do this unconsciously, it will be best that we always take a little time to digest what we hear and the issue, then act accordingly. People we love deserve more of a leeway than strangers. Do not be a doormat, but do not be a schizophrenic pit bull either.

 

Lessons from Monopoly

Last week was a school holiday in Malaysia. As usual, this is the time when my school-aged nephews and nieces congregate at my Mom’s house to spend time together. As the weather was really hot due to the heat wave, my nieces and nephews got pretty antsy sitting at home.

When I visited, tired as I was after a long day at work, I was roped into a spirited game of Monopoly. We played on the classic UK settings (Mayfair, King’s Cross Station, Pall Mall, Coventry, Oxford Street) set that I owned. As we played, I realized that there are may lessons to be learnt from Monopoly (aside from the obvious ones intended by the creator).

Handling the Heat wave

Malaysia has been hit by the heat wave with temperatures hitting anywhere between 35 – 38.5°C (Celcius). Malaysians are used to hot weather, with the average temperature throughout the year ranging from 20°C to 30°C. Unfortunately, the wilting heat, brought over by the boy (El Nino) has already claimed a life of a 23-year old man who collapsed while doing indoor training.

As for myself, I am parched. Drinking water seems like pouring water into the desert, quickly gone without a trace. I am also feeling lethargic and sluggish.

Here are some tips to stay healthy, safe and a little bit cooler through this heat wave.

How to : Get Quality Sleep

Sleep is vital to ones health. It is one of the greatest blessing a human can get, apart from breathing. Not getting enough sleep or good quality sleep tend to mess up your day. It doesn’t help that sleep is usually what we sacrifice when we want to get something done (like homework, projects or meeting a deadline); not to mention having fun (partying, movie marathon, gaming, e-chatting, etc.). According to an article , sleeping less than six hour a night can be just as bad as not sleeping at all. While some of us can (or claim they can) get by with less than 6 hours sleep, most of us cannot function well without a good night sleep.

How do we get good quality sleep? Here’s how.

Teaching vs Passing

Its a dilemma that should not be. Should you teach a student (guiding them to be the best that they can be), or should you pass a student (so they may explore what ever is beyond)? Here is my take on it.

FYP: Fiction and Non-Fiction

When dealing with students (or even ourselves as researchers), we tend to see great planning but never seem to get the great results we expect. What really happened between the plan, the execution and the results? Maybe this info-graphic can help demystify this conundrum. *** FYP = Final Year Project.

Respect: A lost art in this age

“I SPEAK TO EVERYONE IN THE SAME WAY, WHETHER HE IS THE GARBAGE MAN OR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSITY.” ― ALBERT EINSTEIN

“WE CANNOT EXPECT PEOPLE TO HAVE RESPECT FOR LAW AND ORDER UNTIL WE TEACH RESPECT TO THOSE WE HAVE ENTRUSTED TO ENFORCE THOSE LAWS.” ― HUNTER S. THOMPSON

“RESPECT FOR OURSELVES GUIDES OUR MORALS; RESPECT FOR OTHERS GUIDES OUR MANNERS” ― LAURENCE STERNE

“KINDNESS IS A MARK OF FAITH, AND WHOEVER IS NOT KIND HAS NO FAITH.” – PROPHET MUHAMMAD SAW (RECORDED BY MUSLIM)

From kindness blooms respect and love. As the quotes above show (these are some of the many available to you); kindness,respect and love are very important characteristics of mankind. Alas, respect is a dying art in our younger generation (and the not so young too at times). It begs for us to take a moment to review it, discuss it and perhaps ponder on suggestions and ways to make respect flourish in all our lives again.

Fun shopping with kids

Going shopping with one kid may cause stress, not to mention a few kids. Kids are just being themselves. They want, nay crave, attention. They’ll take it however or in whatever form they can get (which includes you nearly rolling your eyes to the back of your head permanently).

But shopping can be fun too. I’ll relate a story of my shopping trip with my 5 nephew and nieces (3 nephews and 2 nieces of different ages).

How to: Know that you plagiarized

Here are some notable features to determine if you really have plagiarized someone else’s work. It can also work to determine if your own work was plagiarized by another.

No Phones on the Table Rule

Have you noticed that kids these days (well adults too) are practically glued to their phones? It seems like an extra appendage or a vital organ. What used to be a house full of kids’ noises are eerily quiet because everybody is focused on their gadgets. Interestingly enough, I was travelling on a commuter train to my sister’s recently when a bunch of girls got on all excited. They are friends by the way they rush to be together at the corner near the door. Once they were settled, it all went quiet. They were not talking or giggling or even doing what most teenage girls do – talk about other people or things or trends and such. They were intensely focused on their phones.