There is always ups and downs in our lives and relationships. People closest to you are usually the ones who hurt you the most. Why? Because you care. If someone waiting at the bus stop calls you stupid, you might just look at him weird and leave. Feeling: “Whatever“. He is just some random homo sapien who you don’t care about. If your family member, say your father, calls you stupid it hurts more. Because you start thinking about it and feeling them deep in your heart.
Sometimes, when what is said is “Stupid“, our mind may hear “Stupid, good for nothing cow.“. Our minds ‘ear’ is embellishing more than what is said. Then our hearts get more crushed and hurt.
This is especially true and more hurtful if we start out with a negative. Take this little story as an analogy.
Sadie and Farah live with their aging mother. Sadie, the elder, is a teacher and Farah is a store clerk. Farah is always slightly sensitive, and she does not like it at all that she is compared to Sadie all her life. When one day Sadie suggested that they all manage their electric usage better and more conservatively due the huge electric bill, Farah heard a different line in her mind. Rather than a discussion, she basically have a telenovela running in her mind. What she heard with her mind’s ‘ear’ is Sadie saying, ” I am tired of always having to pay the bill while you mooch off the family with your low salary. You are useless and a spendthrift“. And so ensued a silent war between the sisters. Farah, due to her in-mind drama and Sadie to how Farah treated her (as a result from he in-mind drama). We all have this director in our minds. We do however have the executive decision to either make that director direct dramas or family sitcom.
Though we do this unconsciously, it will be best that we always take a little time to digest what we hear and the issue, then act accordingly. People we love deserve more of a leeway than strangers. Do not be a doormat, but do not be a schizophrenic pit bull either.
mzmeddler 